tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62583962011-04-21T23:48:17.178-03:00amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comBlogger7611100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1164512904435887672006-11-25T23:47:00.000-04:002006-11-25T23:48:24.486-04:00

at least the ups are still up!mmmm cookies and beer tonight....

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1163817179252619312006-11-17T22:31:00.000-04:002006-11-17T22:32:59.276-04:00

i give up. shit.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1163393019940901572006-11-13T00:42:00.000-04:002006-11-13T00:43:39.966-04:00

if i didn't have you, i would be so sad.but then maybe i would have myself.(for a little while, but i always give myself away...)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1162945449198994762006-11-07T20:21:00.000-04:002006-11-07T20:24:09.250-04:00

i need a day off just so i can get research done. i'm frustrated with my current living situation, where neither solomon's house nor mine is really home. i'm poor as all hell, but that's nothing new. i would like a break now, please.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1162167441149528932006-10-29T20:05:00.000-04:002006-10-29T20:17:21.200-04:00

i have never hated a job until value village, and so i have never quit a job that i hated until now. anyway, i have a new job at video difference, which i start this week. i'm looking forward to it. (it'll be hard, though, with only two days off a week while writing a thesis)friday night, we partied on chebucto lane, just in time for the cops to show up and scare me with threats of $450 fines for

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1161832002612737742006-10-26T00:03:00.000-03:002006-10-26T00:06:42.640-03:00

sometimes i get scared, but i like that you're still here after all this time. i like that you let me in, over and over and more and more. shopping with bianca tomorrow!!i have never seen adults fight like that. i was hoping it was something you grow out of. anyway, it made me sad and i know it made you sad (you just don't say that shit, not in front of someone's children)my voice is different

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1161353954123045332006-10-20T11:18:00.000-03:002006-10-20T11:19:14.163-03:00

oopsie! interview at video difference on a day i have to work at value village. i hope i get this job, otherwise i'll be getting in trouble for nothing!(last night i spent all my money on vitamins!)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1161282529782330192006-10-19T15:18:00.000-03:002006-10-19T15:28:49.816-03:00

allrighty, ms hypochondria. i think i'm ill because i'm always hungry these days, and isn't it true that when your appetite changes, it's a sign you might be sick? i dunno, i'm not putting on weight or anything, i just keep getting hungry. maybe i have, like, a brain tumour (i've been on the cell-phone too much, i think. i get headaches when i think about it.) maybe i've just been doing more than

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1160954856733615072006-10-15T20:18:00.000-03:002006-10-15T20:27:36.756-03:00

firstly, i am a rollercoaster.secondly, i have been under a lot of stress.lastly, i would like a vacation right now, from everything, and sometimes, yes, even you (i wish i could change the way i react to you sometimes, but i can't.)i worry about all the wrong things.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1160612226621923712006-10-11T21:16:00.000-03:002006-10-11T21:17:06.650-03:00

i would like to disappear.forever, maybe.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1160099730142066732006-10-05T22:50:00.000-03:002006-10-05T22:55:30.173-03:00

went camping this past weekend. bought wine, ate dinner at a snooty restaurant, camped in a tent and sweated all night, randomly ran into my cousin at a coffee shop, got a free polka record in wolfville, drained the car battery and got a boost from a church-goer fresh from the sunday service, and did not get slashed to death by the imaginary creeper my 1am-mind dreamed up. it was a good weekend.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1159368592139439382006-09-27T11:49:00.000-03:002006-09-27T11:49:52.176-03:00

i am so lucky.(even though i hate my job, which i often do)but, yes. so lucky.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1159270974370468042006-09-26T08:41:00.000-03:002006-09-26T08:42:54.440-03:00

we weren't supposed to live like this, but don't be sad.(i can see my breath this morning, and i scoured my bedroom looking for mittens. the seasons change every year, but they always catch me off guard.)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1159053395682105082006-09-23T20:12:00.000-03:002006-09-23T20:16:35.706-03:00

hey, what a weird night.what a weird day.what a weird daze.(all day i just kept feeling like i was falling in love, over and over, and i just kept wanting to reach out and say "i love you" but i didn't think anyone would get it, because i don't mean it like that, i just mean it.)(what a great thing, to just send love out into the world all day long, and to nap at 8:30 on a rainy night.)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1158807632752888982006-09-20T23:46:00.000-03:002006-09-21T00:02:00.586-03:00

i can tell when you're sad but i know you keep it all in. there's cancer all through her lungs now, and she starts chemo on next week, and all you say still is 'i hope she doesn't die soon'. i promise to be there if the worst happens, but i all i can ever do is sleep over on a school night. this morning she looks tired. she looks more and more tired every day. she cleans the house and makes black

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1158181242089104662006-09-13T17:54:00.000-03:002006-09-13T18:00:42.146-03:00

ah yes, a respite from thinking about things. delightful monotonous work. the seasons are changing and the vibe in halifax is different. i get scared walking alone at night because i'm not used to the new feeling in the air. i don't like change but i love the feeling of transition. the nights are electric, sitting in pyramid cafe or late-night biking. and just as soon as i get used to this high

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1157940232755319582006-09-10T23:03:00.000-03:002006-09-10T23:03:52.786-03:00

this morning i woke up sad for no reason,and today i found some good reasons.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1157545363647816802006-09-06T09:19:00.000-03:002006-09-06T09:22:43.670-03:00

pomagranates are in the grocery stores now.new roommate!saw the flaming lips, metric, ben harper, dinosaur jr, the colour in montreal this weekend!hallowe'en stuff comes into work soon, and my job is about to get super easier.consumed a lot of wine last night, yet no headache today.drunken dr seuss love poetry!(you are my favourite, and i would kill a moose for you, if i had to)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1153864578817955672006-07-25T18:49:00.000-03:002006-07-25T18:56:18.840-03:00

A) it is just so great to be in love with someone so wonderful.B) thai food is fantastic, and even better with teri, susan, and leah.C) surprisingly, $50 split six ways is enough compensation for me for the river of maggots we had to clean from our alleyway (yes. river. made entirely of maggots. crawling from phil's seafood's garbage up quinpool road.)D) being poor? not my favourite thing. yet

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1153738610409888912006-07-24T07:54:00.000-03:002006-07-24T07:56:50.430-03:00

i could have slept for hours more, this morning in the rain (but couldn't. oh, value village)man. those onion rings. i could have puked.will it ever freaking stop raining??i am going about this all wrong, i bet.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1152544215462953262006-07-10T12:02:00.000-03:002006-07-10T12:10:15.516-03:00

a) went camping this weekend alone with solomon since everyone else bailed. we saw a porcupine that was so so cute, and got stoned at the beach, and got lost at night, and got bitten up by mosquitos, and made delicious camping food, and went hiking, and managed to avoid the rain.b) i am learning to make chainmail. i want to make chainmail jewelry. i dreamed i was making chainmail the other night,

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1151240843507379982006-06-25T10:06:00.000-03:002006-06-25T10:07:23.530-03:00

there to be hidden camerasto catch me in the actof being loveso i will remember laterwhen you're gone.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1151184167883766432006-06-24T18:18:00.000-03:002006-06-24T18:22:47.916-03:00

there will be a party here on friday june 30th. everyone is invited. the theme is Revolutionary, so feel free to dress up like your favourite revolutionary or simply bring flags to burn (or just come to party and we'll take care of the rest).the party starts at 9 or 10, and we're hoping it'll be big, so bring (cool) people (and no little kids that will puke in a mug and hide it under our futon).

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1151058425244928622006-06-23T07:23:00.000-03:002006-06-23T07:27:05.290-03:00

i work today and have the weekend off! THE WEEKEND!!!does anyone want to accompany me to the Farmers' Market tomorrow? i like making activities Social Activities.thinking of going camping on the 8th and 9th, at Keji. a week before solomon leaves for new york and two weeks before chris leaves for korea. time freakin flies!ended up having a good night last night. affirmation is always enjoyable,

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1150680192258456312006-06-18T22:18:00.000-03:002006-06-18T22:23:12.280-03:00

sometimes i think we lack the openness to outlast a conservative minority government. i feel a little trapped and a little lost in a quagmire of time and the greatness of your life.(i live my life the way i play chess, thinking through every possible move and taking no risks, and i so rarely win at chess)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1150462037036582802006-06-16T09:25:00.000-03:002006-06-16T09:47:17.090-03:00

so yesterday morning i was washing my hands in the washroom when i heard stella screaming. not sure whether she had hurt herself (or perhaps yolande was over and they were enjoyingh some early morning you-know-what) i went to investigate. rat. ratratrat. ew. rats.so, we have a rat. i came home after work to discover the boys and neil, who was visiting (and who i'm not entirely sure DOESN'T now

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1149216099204031612006-06-01T23:41:00.000-03:002006-06-01T23:41:39.236-03:00

it's thursday and i'm in love.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1148423249140951692006-05-23T19:26:00.000-03:002006-05-23T19:27:29.163-03:00

just got my income tax in the mail! this means, among many other things:a) sushi, soon!b) groceries!c) a comfier mattress!

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1148259532593691862006-05-21T21:53:00.000-03:002006-05-21T21:58:52.613-03:00

it's nice to rediscover things you used to love, and finding out you still love them just as much.enjoyable last few days of work, and now it's the weekend. my piano's gone, leaving a large gaping hole in the floorplan of my bedroom. nothing to keep me hidden from my roommates smoking on the back deck, hopefully not seeing me change in and out of clothing...i feel like i've been being distant

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1147746896085978642006-05-15T23:24:00.000-03:002006-05-15T23:34:56.110-03:00

found peace this weekend in the perfect combination of sunshine, weed, and sex. and kids in the hall, season 3.i've been outside all day, ever since i got up. sol and i worked the soil for hours and dreamed of its promise. we went to the commons to play frisbee with his brother and friends. we passed around joints in the open air, sitting on the grass like it should be done. the day's over now

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1147204740672015772006-05-09T16:57:00.000-03:002006-05-09T16:59:00.693-03:00

i think i look so pretty when i'm crying. i stare at my mirror and cry.how did we ever get here? (so pretty and alone)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1146521519317744382006-05-01T19:04:00.000-03:002006-05-01T19:11:59.340-03:00

so i haven't posted since 420. i guess i've been busy.spent the day in a daze. i've got things on my mind, but they faded away as the day progressed. the world was too peaceful today, or maybe it was just me. too peaceful, anyway, to do anything about things i can't to anything about.working at value village is subconscious.got my first A+ in two years. i'm back!yeah, i guess i'm content, knowing

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1145551826737767172006-04-20T13:48:00.000-03:002006-04-20T13:50:26.756-03:00

but we'll be all right, if we remind ourselves we'll be all right.this week my hair/yarn will be all blue.i need to find a second job.anyway, i hope everyone's well...

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1145113018416990302006-04-15T11:44:00.000-03:002006-04-15T11:56:58.460-03:00

i say have a good night, and a good day at work tomorrow. i'll call you tomorrow night or something and he says the same, and at 10am when i wake up it's like i can still feel his skin, like i must be crazy but good.red curry coconut "chicken" is sooooo yummy.party/show at area 52 thursday night. i finally meet marty and we all share a joint in the jam space then head to the sofa for music and

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1144796114170919882006-04-11T19:51:00.000-03:002006-04-11T19:55:14.180-03:00

last day on campus and the sun is shining and i give my feet blisters walking home in my red shoes.i buy pizza then i eat pizza then i regret having eaten pizza as i now feel kind of sick.two hours of oz to get me through the night. we finish off season four instead of writing papers and studying for exams.i wonder if maybe april 11th is always like this.i should really work on my paper.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1144606186350401772006-04-09T15:00:00.000-03:002006-04-09T15:09:46.363-03:00

yesterday: three hours of oz in the afternoon. trying to salvage the evening by writing a paper and making tofu satay. visit with sol who's still sick, and we watch v for vendetta and bram stoker's dracula, heads resting on each other's breast, coughing between words, eating carrot cake from the great ocean. walk home at two, and brad's here, but i go straight to bed even though he's leaving for

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1144370258522432422006-04-06T21:36:00.000-03:002006-04-06T21:37:38.533-03:00

our kitchen's a fucking mess.still sick. and now sol's sick, which makes me feel guilty.last night i dreamed i was in israel, staring in awe at mount zion.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1143808616677382472006-03-31T08:30:00.000-04:002006-03-31T08:36:56.693-04:00

spent the night sweating out a fever, rather deleriously, i might add. delerium is fun, thought usually only after the fact. still kind of feel like crap, so hopefully it will be sunny enough today that i can sleep on the back deck.went to sol's last night, and despite being completly out of it and sick, managed to make and eat fried tofu and peanut sauce, and stir fried vegetables. when i told

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1143587086454427252006-03-28T19:02:00.000-04:002006-03-28T19:04:46.470-04:00

i had a dream last night that i had two little kitties, and when i woke up and remembered that i don't have any cats, i got sad.the end of semester is upon us and i haven't started any of my term assignments. am i ever glad i postponed my thesis till next year!carrot juice is pretty much where it's at.i don't want to go to class/work tomorrow.i don't want to do much of anything really. eat, sleep

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1143421792814333652006-03-26T21:09:00.000-04:002006-03-26T21:09:52.826-04:00

awwww. smitten, man.smitten.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1143170572911743202006-03-23T23:13:00.000-04:002006-03-23T23:22:52.943-04:00

i notice the sky's been fading slowly from black to blue to grey to black to grey to blue. every morning i wake up to the sound of pidgeons. they are so loud on the rooftop of the former veterinary clinic (now an empty building for lease) that i can hear their claws tapping against the shingles as they fly and land and jump around. the sun comes up earlier now. that makes the early mornings more

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1142994312593834492006-03-21T22:23:00.000-04:002006-03-21T22:25:12.603-04:00

well well whatever.(can you hear me thinking i should stop?)(maybe you thought that desperate guys never had a chance)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1142816275925309772006-03-19T20:45:00.000-04:002006-03-19T20:57:55.950-04:00

lazy lazy sunday. to the killam, video difference, and the great ocean. watching star trek with ian. eating delicious expensive candied ginger and drinking delicious expensive tea. eating organic food is expensive, and nothing at the great ocean costs less than $5 no matter how small it is. that is the conclusion i've come to. but it all tastes so good. it was busy in there today, and brent the

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1142743571393991382006-03-19T00:35:00.000-04:002006-03-19T00:46:11.406-04:00

at value village they buy us free lunch occasionally and they think they can pull the wool over our eyes about cutting hours and all that. thankfully, i got a free veggir burger today and i didn't have to work. so what do i care?ben's leaving and tonight was the last i'll see him (for a while). it wasn't one of those this is how i'll remember you moments. it wasn't even a i'm moving out west, see

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1142650302928745742006-03-17T22:43:00.000-04:002006-03-17T22:51:42.940-04:00

life happens, pretty much every second of the day. LIFE IS COMPLICATED (and funny. fon't forget funny.)i find the future really hard to envision, even when i know exactly what's about to happen. is it possible i have my head in the clouds? (is it possible i distance myself from everything?)being close to people hurts, because you're never close to them for long enough. i want to stop making close

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1142088943681497122006-03-11T10:48:00.000-04:002006-03-11T10:55:43.700-04:00

mmmm. avacado for breakfast. missed the famers' market this morning because ian slept in. i guess i'll just have to get over my addiction to that ginger-pear jam. we buy the liquor that's named after us. i buy bolivar coffee liqueur, and solomon buys sol beer, and stella buys stella artois. that's a weird phenomenon. think how many people would buy a beer named dave or a whiskey named smith's. i

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1141868226449102212006-03-08T21:30:00.000-04:002006-03-08T21:37:06.460-04:00

the return of the two-day-long headache.i spend too much money on food...i'm happy when you're happy, and i'm even happier when you're happy to hear from me. scot visited from moncton today. it's kind of awkward now, like we don't really know each other.i had toothpaste on my shirt all day today. i'm happy i get to see solomon tomorrow! before he leaves for montreal :(i don't feel well. stress

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1141158837969352742006-02-28T16:33:00.000-04:002006-02-28T16:33:57.990-04:00

hello...?

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1140965025681418822006-02-26T10:39:00.000-04:002006-02-26T10:43:46.126-04:00

oh yes, the weeks are oh-so long, and you're always so busy. i'm glad to be going back to class tomorrow. spring break can get boring when i'm just waiting around for you (or was i?)i really don't understand how it gets so cold. i'm going to move to south america (and just dick around, i guess)i have nothing to say except that i love strawberry shortcake (and your schedule is driving me crazy)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1140723249219334542006-02-23T15:29:00.000-04:002006-02-23T15:34:09.233-04:00

maybe you're right and i don't deserve the respect that comes with acknowledging my existence. and maybe you're right, and i'm worth hating.maybe you're right, and i'm a monster, a terrible person, who does terrible things.maybe you're right and i'm just a series of actions and nothing else.maybe you're right. will that make it better? can we move on now?

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1140709263353046642006-02-23T11:38:00.000-04:002006-02-23T11:41:03.366-04:00

yeah, our lives are made of little moments like these.and the world is made of patterns and ideas.patterns. and. ideas.and down every street there's poetryat the bus stationin the destruction of little things.in little moments like these.and if i could control timei'd rewindand make it so i never met you.because it hurts to let you be who you are,who i think you are.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1140567988743260722006-02-21T20:26:00.000-04:002006-02-21T20:26:28.760-04:00

i'm all sad and shakey, and maybe it's not worth it.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1140484895965657472006-02-20T21:14:00.000-04:002006-02-20T21:21:35.980-04:00

i get stuck in these moments, asking unanswerable questions (but i tend to move on).weird combination of moods recently. there's the shakes that i've been getting off and on (probably mostly from work, and hopefully not affecting my blood pressure). there's sometimes having to hide under my blankets for an hour and a half wishing the world away so i can open my eyes again.there's also the feeling

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1140407852773514152006-02-19T23:57:00.000-04:002006-02-19T23:57:32.786-04:00

cod liver oil, y'all.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1140293701664469292006-02-18T16:07:00.000-04:002006-02-18T16:15:01.720-04:00

if we were gypsies we wouldn't have to speak. we'd just understand with crystal balls and the maps drawn on our hands.and sex is a language i only speak in tongues. there are verbs and aspects for what we've done and haven't done, and a morphology made of sounds for you and me. our syntax can't be decoded.and if we were skeletons, our bones would be our skin and we wouldn't keep our insides

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1140177721201638122006-02-17T08:00:00.000-04:002006-02-17T08:02:18.003-04:00

i don't know how i got so lucky.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1139780339524495182006-02-12T17:32:00.000-04:002006-02-12T17:38:59.540-04:00

man. i have TWO kinds of yogurt in my very posession! TWO!! i love yogurt. plus, i know some pretty fantastic people. (did you know that you're one of them?)mochten sie im Wunderwagen fahren?i bailed on bee's party last night, but dare i say it was worth it? (it was totally worth it)man. what the fuck's up with the weather? (it's not that i hate this city, it's that i hate the weather... and its

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1139579745926839942006-02-10T09:52:00.000-04:002006-02-10T09:55:45.936-04:00

nothing at all to do today but take sleeping pills and hide from the world under my bedcovers and the canopy that wraps around my bed. nothing to do but shiver and maybe cry and wait for this week to be over.i'll sleep till six, and walk outside and buy myself roses, and sleep again till tomorrow.i hate everything.sometimes.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1139339560082159862006-02-07T15:10:00.000-04:002006-02-07T15:12:40.096-04:00

here we go. i hope this works. (if not, i know we'll have tried)also, turkish food tonight with stephan (and laura?)!!! (finally!!)also, photographic evidence that i existed two years ago, and that it was fine then, and it'll be fine now (also, that photo of us in prague. oh prague)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1139165204433373952006-02-05T14:33:00.000-04:002006-02-05T14:46:44.500-04:00

found it hard to cope with the world yesterday in a way that i don't understand. the 168 was nice, and it was good to see people, most especially brett, whom i used to spend entire days with, who is never around anymore. when you date someone, you always see your friends less after a while, and i should remember that. that's my lesson for the day (that dating is evil? something like that.)i put a

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1138925455945147292006-02-02T20:09:00.000-04:002006-02-02T20:10:55.960-04:00

i am a messy person (that talks too much, probably).solidarite. paix. just a few of the things that come out of my discourse analysis class.i run into brad a lot, and he is always looking for weed.i ate a weird supper tonight.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1138776264174285342006-02-01T02:43:00.000-04:002006-02-01T02:44:24.186-04:00

all danced out and smelly.controller.controller were awesome.the walk home through the blizzard at 2:30am was also awesome. in a different way. i guess.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1138686705334411462006-01-31T01:44:00.000-04:002006-01-31T01:52:50.766-04:00

i made some socks and a tube top out of a shirt that was too big for me. (it's stripey!)i prunued my hibiscis, the one surviving plant that i bought from unlimited country (to be fair, the other died while in my father's care. he doesn't baby anything. he didn't baby us. he doesn't baby plants. although he loves us both.) there's something satisfying in trimming the fat, removing the excess. the

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1138583223694292592006-01-29T21:01:00.000-04:002006-01-29T21:07:03.710-04:00

i spent the weekend in bed, falling in and out of sleep, and reading novels and assigned readings in between. i've been eating lifesavers like crazy. every now and then i took nintendo breaks and hanging-out breaks. i'm effin relaxed. i think the insence has helped, a little.(still don't know what to do about you, though)i'm pretty excited for controller.controller this tuesday, even though i

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1138479387376294552006-01-28T16:14:00.000-04:002006-01-28T16:16:27.390-04:00

under the weather today. what if nothing picks me up?(ever feel unloved, by everyone, especially the people you love the most?)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1138157696591628092006-01-24T22:52:00.000-04:002006-01-24T22:54:56.606-04:00

we're having a party here friday night. 9:00-ish. bring yo' liquor 'cause we're getting dee-runk.maybe you should come!!!(all my songs are sad, even if they sound happy. maybe that's a lot like me. the world is a sad, cruel place, and i don't know how i feel about it.)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1138120372649629922006-01-24T12:32:00.000-04:002006-01-24T12:32:52.663-04:00

i'll either get used to it or get over it.oh, cruelty.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1137948500553217752006-01-22T12:41:00.000-04:002006-01-22T15:20:44.386-04:00

so today i'm worried about a couple people. i don't know how to divide it, and i don't know how to talk about it. i'm stuck with a tight little ball of neurons in my brain that just keeps saying, holy fuck, i'm worried about you, and i care.despite that, i still woke up giggling this morning (read: afternoon). the walk home last night was ridiculous. i'm pretty sure that russell and his

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1137823140641913812006-01-21T01:50:00.000-04:002006-01-21T01:59:00.656-04:00

i made a decision to care, whether or not you care that i care, or want me to care, or want me to not care. i'm not going to back out of something just because it's fucking painful.the walk home is more like the journey home, and i become aware that as i walk past the street lights i cast three shadows that rotate around me. i wonder what each shadow means, but i'm inturtrupted by brad on his

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1137729178508125802006-01-19T23:41:00.000-04:002006-01-19T23:52:58.526-04:00

i found myself floating around in a whirlwind that i helped to make. and i love it. the days go by so fast now (when you're here, and when you're not, they just drag on by). i feel more creative than i have in a long time. every thought is a good idea worth persuing. creating something out of thin air is amazing, and the air is made of music that hasn't happened yet.i don't even notice the cold

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1137696327187506152006-01-19T14:45:00.000-04:002006-01-19T14:45:27.206-04:00

i wish you hadn't deleted your blog. i miss it.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1137556647316854752006-01-17T23:56:00.000-04:002006-01-17T23:57:27.330-04:00

(i am going to sell everything i own, and move to a desert somewhere, because i can't stop hurting people and i don't know what else to do.there are monsters, and there are monsters, and they've got nothing on me.)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1137553964275683012006-01-17T23:08:00.000-04:002006-01-17T23:12:44.290-04:00

dammit dammit dammityou make me so happy. i've got tired-out bug-eyes and a dopey smile that says i woke up next to a cute boy this morning, and he makes me not care about anything in the whole wide world.smite smote smitten, kitten.(no matter what happens, now)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1137457637488995392006-01-16T20:11:00.000-04:002006-01-16T20:27:17.503-04:00

change can be the most painful thing in the world. maybe i just haven't grown up yet. i haven't learned how to cope with saying goodbye.today, i had to say goodbye to scot, only he wasn't there to say goodbye to. as of 8am this morning, scot became Manager In Training at the moncton store. he had become a good friend, someone to confide in, someone to laugh with, someone whom i respected. i think

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1137304772237395182006-01-15T01:58:00.000-04:002006-01-15T01:59:32.253-04:00

tell me everything that's ever happened to you.tell me every story you've ever thought of writing.just tell me everything, and never leave.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1137255828613175182006-01-14T12:22:00.000-04:002006-01-14T12:23:48.633-04:00

his eyes in my hand touching my hair with my left hand. the bus stops and starts and the road moves around in little snakes underneath us. he steps six or seven steps and sits with the blank and random girl on the left side of the bus, six of seven steps in front of me. he touches his face with his right hand and my mouth is wired shut like the girl in the back with the blue liquor store bag who

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1136911508295899122006-01-10T12:37:00.000-04:002006-01-10T12:45:08.313-04:00

i know i've said it before but this time it's real.i was up til 4:30 with you again. this is destrying my body, but otherwise it is so healthy. we should all be kissed on a regular basis, and slide idle fingers between idle hands, to be touched at the bottom of the space where our fingers divide, where it's small and safe.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1136766195710233322006-01-08T20:20:00.000-04:002006-01-08T20:23:15.723-04:00

you make me smile, even when i just think about you. why are you so great?science told us today that farts are funny, and get funnier the louder they are. oh value village.i think you can tell you really like someone when you think "there's no way i'm good enough for them". i don't know where i am.what a long weekend.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1136483937617200792006-01-05T13:53:00.000-04:002006-01-05T13:58:57.633-04:00

step one: remove from packaging, or bedding. whichever.step two: coffee.step three: goth up the bathroom, as planned.step four: discuss politics, as per usual.step five: write an exemption-from-jury-duty form. hope for the best.step six: shower.step seven: class at four.step eight: coffee with shawn.step nine: resume boring lifestyle of writing screenplays that will never be filmed, and bugging

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1136265556030615352006-01-03T01:14:00.000-04:002006-01-03T01:19:16.050-04:00

thank god xmas is over. i definitely need a vacation from this vacation. i feel like i'm going stagnant doing nothing (as opposed to me feeling stagnant from doing useless things i don't enjoy, which is basically the rest of my life).(although that sounds needlesssly harsh and depressing, which is not exactly where i am right now, but i do anticipate more actions that i know are a bad idea, but i

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1135624976458402512005-12-26T15:22:00.000-04:002005-12-26T15:22:56.473-04:00

spain this summer then moving to montreal in the fall.if i live till then, that is...(good fucking lord)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1135470784437666352005-12-24T20:31:00.000-04:002005-12-24T20:33:04.456-04:00

we're having a toga party. on the 26th. wear a sheet, and bring liquor.6287 quinpool. above phil's seafood (like i even have to mention that anymore). anytime after 8 would be lovely.word.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1135303346114268762005-12-22T21:56:00.000-04:002005-12-22T22:02:26.126-04:00

it's almost xmas. i've been wrapping gifts and staying up late and sleeping in a not really eating enough. i've been playing my piano a lot, and spending time in tantallon.december's almost over, and it seems to have picked up a little bit. i think it's silly to dread a month, but i dread december, and there really isn't much i can do about it. but it's almost over.i went to shawn's tonight and

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1134958107686212692005-12-18T21:58:00.000-04:002005-12-18T22:08:27.736-04:00

we put the tree up today, and the house smells like a forest, the same way it does every year and that's why i do it. xmas is kind of one of those things that reminds me of being little, and all the traditions that surround it are harmless and hard to get rid of.yesterday at work was fun. i miss working on saturdays, sort of. there was david and roy and ang' and all those people i don't work with

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1134751473035112202005-12-16T12:29:00.000-04:002005-12-16T12:44:33.110-04:00

woke up late today (too much sleep to catch up on in just one day) and ate an xmas cookie for breakfast. eric messaged me about the australian pink floyd show, which was apparently awesome. not surprising. i checked everyone's blog and sucked the icing from the cookie off my fingers, and realised how close xmas really is. i still have presents to buy and wrap, and my xmas bonus to pick up from

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1134685300023583302005-12-15T18:11:00.000-04:002005-12-15T18:21:40.050-04:00

man. kaizers orchestra are mind-bogglingly good.i wrote a new song (finally) and went xmas shopping with lora and bought new yarn for my hair.last night, ian and i went to stephan and lora's to watch osama which stephan had rented. it was beautiful and depressing and relentless and quiet. i enjoyed it, but it hurt.afterward, lora taught ian how to knit while stephan talked for hours about he and

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1134604705215959882005-12-14T19:46:00.000-04:002005-12-14T19:58:25.226-04:00

as if i ever needed more proof that time is change. why is it that one new face or one new shift of focus can change everything? how is it possible for this week to have begun so drastically differently from the last week? honestly, time is amazing, and i will never get tired of saying that.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1134158924794903832005-12-09T16:07:00.000-04:002005-12-09T16:08:44.810-04:00

anything exciting giong on tomorrow night? anything going on at all? i'm stuck in tantallon for the night (again).seriously. i'm getting restless and wouldn't mind a phone call.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1134099060024063232005-12-08T23:19:00.000-04:002005-12-08T23:31:00.056-04:00

yeah yeah, so i'm back. i kind of had a little detour there, or something. a glitch or something. it feels like weeks have gone by, i'm making so much progress. it doesn't erase your face or anything, but it's progress dammit, and i'm doing fine.although i've had a headache since monday. that's a little disconcerting. i left work early monday and yesterday because of it. it's a good thing i work

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1133724045114779532005-12-04T15:20:00.000-04:002005-12-04T15:20:45.126-04:00

that had better be that. this girl doesn't play those games, and this girl doesn't waste much time.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1133551670338568082005-12-02T15:22:00.000-04:002005-12-02T15:27:50.350-04:00

everything went fine with our rent cheque, despite all odds.i really love my critical discourse analysis paper on diamonds. i really really love it.i'm finally warm and inspired (and maybe a little lonely, but that can happen these days).last night, we played hallway hockey and broke our broom and a paperweight. and fuck yeah, we're doing it again (as soon as we get a new broom).i'm pretty bored

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1133361794321555832005-11-30T10:42:00.000-04:002005-11-30T10:43:14.333-04:00

i'll be honest. i'm not looking forward to december. i have terrible luck with decembers.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1133290771981970412005-11-29T14:58:00.000-04:002005-11-29T14:59:31.996-04:00

i am just plain bad at waiting.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1133233762471050572005-11-28T23:03:00.000-04:002005-11-28T23:09:22.486-04:00

tonight i bought groceries and drank egg nog and ate a sugar cookie on the futon. ian and i played mario and i didn't die, which is pretty unusual. maybe i'm getting better? jordan gets home tonight at midnight, which also happens to be his birthday. these are all good things about the world today (and no need, at 11pm, to mention the bad.)and i work at 8am, which isn't the best, but it means i

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1133140767812582902005-11-27T21:15:00.000-04:002005-11-27T21:19:27.826-04:00

just tomorrow and the day after that and most of the day after that. fuck.apparently, linda is my surrogate mother at work, and tells me i'm getting too thin and pale and sends me home with a box of muffins. too pale? probably? too thin? i have never seen this.the lovely scot gave me a certificate of achievement for the month of october, which is really lame, but it means a lot to me, only

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1133104864494654192005-11-27T11:20:00.000-04:002005-11-27T11:21:04.506-04:00

why can't it be last sunday morning? (sector F meeting today!!)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1133019754292036492005-11-26T11:38:00.000-04:002005-11-26T11:42:34.303-04:00

i got another email from jarrett yesterday. i love that man. he is my other dad, and makes sure i know it. jarrett is one of the very few men i go to for advice, even though "advice" is usually stuff like keep it gangta or don't scare the boy! i miss jarrett, my value village dad. he says slow things down and daddy's only an email away. how can you not love that?

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1132962235281069972005-11-25T19:42:00.000-04:002005-11-25T19:43:55.296-04:00

i'm going all crazy, counting down hours till wednesday. till you get right back here where you belong, exactly where i am, only one foot to the left.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1132875645384012472005-11-24T19:29:00.000-04:002005-11-24T19:40:45.396-04:00

you left this morning for the biggest city you can get to. i picture it as not raining there. i bet it's brighter than anything i've seen.when you get back, it'll be your birthday.

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6258396.post-1132846860845507132005-11-24T11:37:00.000-04:002005-11-24T11:50:05.760-04:00

this girl leads a ridiculous life, and is doing ok,just she doesn't like always bothering you to tell you about it.(she wouldn't mind if you bothered her sometime...)

amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05943199726395846679noreply@blogger.com